Teaching our Children

As many of you know, Robbie and I are foster parents. This is not something we ever thought we would be doing. It was a long process that we went into kicking and screaming, but it was led by God. We went into it wanting to adopt. But along the way we have helped families, that ultimately led to reunification and the healing of families. It is one of the toughest things that I have ever done personally. I have poured my life into these children and then they are taken away. Along with the heartache that I have felt, I have also had to hold my grieving children as they cried because of the loss, which only magnifies my heartache.

I have had many people say they could never do that, because of the "damage" it would cause their own children. I have listened to this and questioned myself many times on the negative impact this may have on our children as it relates to this mission.

Then I saw this on ESPN the other day on Rennie Curran. It is a small biography of his life. He talks about poverty in his family because of his parents responsibility to family members. But because of this struggle it has made him stronger. If this struggle has made him into a better person, then why are we so bent on protecting our children from everything?

And then I had this thought maybe our children (as in children as a whole) have it way too easy! Because I know in our house this "struggle" has been a wonderful learning opportunity. We talk about the fact that we really miss this child, but we pray for this child and give them to God asking God to bless and protect. We also have learned that helping people is incredibly hard and requires sacrifice. We also have learned that pain should never stop us from helping the next person. My children are not just learning this, they are living it! Because even through the loss they still understand the mission. Yes, they complain because of this or that inconvenience. But if I were to tell them that another child needs our help, they would say with all their heart, Let's go get 'em!

And so I go back to my question, why do we as a society feel the need to insulate our children from everything painful? Could it be that we as parents are afraid of our pain and do not understand how to deal with our own emotions? Now here is my disclaimer, I am in NO WAY advocating causing or inflicting pain on the innocent. I am not saying we should be seeking to find some agony to "teach" our children. What I am saying is that when pain is presented, use it to teach them about becoming a man/woman. Use it to teach them about the healing power of our sovereign God. Use it to make them into better humans. Use it to teach them that avoiding discomfort at the expense of another's torture is selfish.

And never let your children's "comfort" be an excuse in not doing good!