For some reason I have been compelled to write this post but I have hesitated. There seems to be an idea of Pastors Wives. One I really don't relate to. But it really goes beyond the PW. It seems as if women everywhere want to put on this persona. It is this: "I have everything under control. I have it all together. Etc. Etc." Please feel free to fill in the blank with whatever mask you are wearing.
So here is my confession. (And as I write this my heart is actually beating a little faster.) I am a woman filled with insecurities. Kind of scary to put it out there, but it is true. These are the questions that fill my mind. Let's see if you can relate. "Did I ramble on about that conversation? Does she/he really like me or is she just tolerating me? Am I doing the right thing in regards to my child?" There are so many more but my insecurities are getting in the way!
But there is one thing that I am completely secure in. I know without a doubt that God loves ME. He is a God of love and also abundant in grace. I know he picks me up when I am in desperate need. I also know He hears my prayers, even this one. God fill in the gaps where I have messed up! And that is what gives me confidence, knowing that as long as I am seeking after him, He will work things out for the good of those who love him. So this is where my security lies, in His heart!
2 comments:
i think in many ways you are a model pastors wife because you don't fit the stereotypical mold. I see your influence expanding at Beachside and it's a great thing. People can really relate to you because they identify with you as a "normal" person and not as a "high and mighty" pastors wife. I think that who you are as a person fits here at this specific church just as much as Robbie or anyone else. I'm proud to have you here as a pastor's wife and leader.
first, ditto to everything Drew just wrote. And in addition...i have always had the "typical" pastors wives my whole life. You are the only one I feel comfortable with. Really, I don't even think of you as the pastors wife, just a friend. Thanks for that.
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