Christmas Season is over..now I must blog!

The Christmas season is over so I must get back to real life, which of course includes blogging. There have been so many things that I have thought would be a great blog post, but of course I have quickly forgotten all of them.

We had a wonderful Christmas! For quite a few years I have really dreaded the holiday season, but I have seen a shift in my attitude. The main shift has been a conscious decision not to worry about what should be and instead being content with what is. It is a constant decision and not one that comes easy! Funny how that seems to be!

The Star

Psalm 19:1-2-"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge."

We watched The Star of Bethlehem movie last night at church. I am again amazed at the wonder of God. For those who have not seen it, there is man that has made it his mission to explain the Star of Bethlehem. What impacted me was that God set the stars in motion at the beginning of creation with the thought of Christ's birth and resurrection. He set the stars in the sky to ring out the birth of His son before he even created man. And He also set into motion the heavens to mourn his death.

My God has created all things to proclaim His glory. And it is when we deviate from that plan that there is pain and suffering. But those who are called by His name and bear His Spirit in our very being can no more ignore His glory than change the course of the stars in the sky. We and all of creation bear the very fingerprint of God and we have only to open our eyes and see His majesty! My God is more, so much more than I could ever dream or imagine. I wish I had the words to express the greatness of Him!

The Tie that Binds!

(This post came out of my group of beautiful ladies that pray on Tuesday nights. They encouraged me through a minor thing, but gave me inspiration to write this. We have cried and laughed a BUNCH these past four years. Sharing in each others joys and sharing each others pain. You give me wings and strength and courage and I thank you!)gcmsd

There have been many people who share their stories with Robbie and I over these past few years and we are amazed at the amount of pain that people carry with them through life. There is a common thread through many of these people. Many say the same thing, or a variation of the same sentiment, "I thought I was alone in the pain." "Everyone else seems to have it all together." "I am the only one who feels this way." And it has occurred to me that we all walk around with these burdens thinking we are isolated, but yet everyone we come into contact with has another burden, it may not be identical to the one you are carrying, but it still produces the same byproduct... pain.

How clever of the enemy, if he can convince us that we are "the only one", then we are vulnerable to his attacks. And our goal becomes only to keep it a secret, and we will do anything to protect the image of "all-togetherness" for the sake of being "just like everyone else." What a ruse, a scam, a mirage? What ever you call it, it is a lie!

What if the very thing the enemy meant to make us weak is the very thing that makes us strong? What if the common thread became "I understand your pain because I have pain as well? It is the human condition to know pain. And it is the tie that binds us all. If we come together sharing each others burdens we know we are not alone and that gives us strength.

So I will ask the question again, What if the very thing the enemy meant to make us weak is the very thing that makes us strong?

(Please post a comment because I feel like I am talking to myself here! Kind of like being all alone!! :)

Best Thanksgiving yet!

I have to say that I had the best Thanksgiving yet! We, actually my mom and mother-in-law, decided to do things casual this year. A few people made the usual turkey and ham. Everyone brought a simple side dish. And we went to the park and had sandwiches at the park. We played the traditional tennis baseball, a game that evolved over the past few years. You use a tennis racket and a tennis ball and then you run around the bases, like baseball. Adults must use the opposite hand to make it fair. And then we came to the house and the men got to watch their football game. It was simple and full of family fun, just the way I like it!

Summer is 2!

Today is Summer's Birthday! She is 2 years old! We adopted her last year on November 17 and had a huge celebration for her adoption and birthday all in one! This year we just had a quiet celebration and then we will celebrate with family on Thanksgiving, because I know I will not be able to do that in the future.

So here is where I brag about my Summer. As many know she had a rough beginning of her life. She is a survivor baby. Anyone who has had a struggling preemie or an infant with health issues understands what I am talking about. She is incredibly persistent and, even though I do not like the word, strong-willed. I have to remind myself it is those characteristics that kept her alive. She loves her brothers and I think she thinks she is one of the boys, because she does not want to wear a shirt around the house anymore, just like her brothers.

She brings life to our house and I can not wait to see what God has in store for my strong child!

Of course I had to make a pink cake with pink icing!

Homeschooling Follies

These are actual events that occurred at my dining room table.

My three beautiful boys were sitting at the table diligently working on their math work. I am not sure the exact words, but there were words that were exchanged between #1 and #3. The next thing I knew a pencil was flying over the table hitting one on the shoulder. At which point a marker was lobbed in the other direction, missing it's mark but toppling over the ketchup bottle that was still left on the table from lunch. And then there was a melee of small objects being thrown in different directions. All of this happened in mere seconds. And then this thought occurred to me, "I bet Michelle Duggar NEVER has this at HER dining room table!"

And so goes my homeschooling!

National Adoption Awarenes Month

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Following is the press release for the event. This is very special to us because we adopted Summer last year at this event. If you are interested in adopting please attend.

'National Adoption Day is a collective national effort to raise awareness of the 129,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. For the last eight years, National Adoption Day has made the dreams of thousands of children come true by working with the courts, judges, attorneys, adoption professionals, child welfare agencies, and advocates to finalize adoptions and find permanent loving homes for our children.' (www.nationaladoptionday.org)

Please join the celebration as we raise awareness about children who are still waiting, and build relationships within the community to make each child's and teenager's wish come true!

Community Partnership for Children and Calvary Christian Center will host an adoption awareness and celebration event on Saturday, November 15th, from 10:00am to Noon. The event, which is open to the public, will be at Calvary Christian Center, 1687 W. Granada Blvd., Ormond Beach, FL.

Selling Jesus

Warning: I am posting a pet peeve.

I have a pet peeve. This really bothers me to the point of making me nauseous. So here it is: I do not like it when people try to sell Jesus!

I am not talking about the gimmicky T-shirts and bumper stickers. Even though that can be over the top sometimes! No I am talking about preachers and the sort who do the hard sell for Jesus. You know the kind I am talking about! The preacher says, "You really need Jesus. You need him and let me tell you why?" I always want to ask this guy, "Are you trying to convince others or yourself?"

So then I thought about the sales men in our world. What are they selling you that you need ? There is the proverbial used-car salesmen. Then the insurance salesman. Then the "oh-my-goodness-why-didn't-I-think-of-that-gadget" salesman. All of these things are products or services. My God is neither of these things. We should not have to convince anyone that they need our God. He is not something to be "bought into".

The bible says that we should be a "light on the hill". No one who lives in darkness should be convinced that they need a light. So what are we selling Jesus for? If we, who are called by His Name, are being the light that those who dwell in darkness need, then those who live in darkness will want our light, we will not have to convince them. Am I making sense to anyone?

Crabs from Heaven?

Where else can you hear these words, "Mom, there is a crab walking down our street!"?

And sure enough, I went out there and there was a crab walking down our street! Of course we had to bring it in! We looked it up on the Internet to find out what kind it was. It was a blue land crab. We also learned it was a "vegetarian", according to Shane.

So the way I figure it, if the "economic crisis" gets worse , we can always have crab for dinner!

(I am not sure why the picture is sideways. I tried to rotate it but it did not work. Any suggestions?)

Shoes

I learn so much about God from my children. They do things that make me absolutely crazy and then I think about how God sees his children.

The other day I learned something from my two-year-old. She is quite the little challenge. She is a survivor baby, so she is incredibly persevering. It seems as if I am learning a lot from her lately. Not going into the whys of that right now!

My dear child loves shoes. So she found dad's running shoes and put them on and started walking with them. The problem was her little feet are two small to fill daddy's shoes, so as she tried to walk she kept stumbling and falling. As she stumbled she dug in more, getting angrier with every step, whining and yelling all the way. Finally giving up and abandoning the way too big shoes, she ran over to me and hit me out of sheer frustration.

I sat there in amazement as I saw myself. I try to wear His shoes, worrying over my path, whining the whole way because it is not working like I had imagined. And then getting mad at him for the frustration of my walk.

I just held her in my arms, comforting her. Knowing that even when we get mad at God, he still takes us in and comforts us.

God is amazing and full of grace!

From hubby's blog

I stole this from my husband's blog, who stole it from Perry Noble. I had to share.

I’ve just about had enough…and am so glad I left the country yesterday…that way I don’t have to listen to this crap anymore.

And no, I’m not talking about the politicians and their crazy adds on television that are right in line with a middle school “yo mama” fight!

I’m talking about the Christians who have prostituted themselves with the political process and taken their eyes off of Jesus as their Savior and put them on either McCain or Obama as their Savior.

It’s STUPID!

Should we have a political opinion as Christians? HECK YES! Should we vote? ABSOLUTELY! I think a Christian who doesn’t vote is completely missing an opportunity that God has blessed us with as citizens of this country.

BUT…we can’t actually think that the salvation process is tied to who happens to be in the White House!

In reading through the Gospels the other day something HIT ME like a ton of bricks…the Jews missed the fact that Jesus was the Messiah because they were looking for someone to deliver them from the politics of Rome.

Let me say it more clearly–they missed Jesus because of politics!!! (And religion as well…but that’s another post!)
For a Christian to claim that the world is going to be doomed to hell because a particular party happens to “control” the White House is a slap in the face of a Sovereign God.

He reigns! Read through Scripture & it is so clear…God has used kings and princes that were sold out to Him…and He’s also used those who had no love for Him at all…all for HIS glory!

So…next Tuesday…go vote! “For who,” you ask…well, here’s an idea…ask Jesus who to vote for…and then do what He says. (Yes, it REALLY is that simple.)

Then…whoever gets elected…PRAY FOR THAT MAN OFTEN! Even if the guy you want to win doesn’t…all the more reason to pray!

One more time…YES, we should have political opinions…and YES, it is OK if they are strong AND we believe in the cause…BUT PLEASE let’s not make the mistake of thinking that God is somehow limited by the policies and philosophies of a particular party!

HE REIGNS! Always has, always will!

Wrestling, Blessings and Cud

I love the story in the Old Testament of Jacob wrestling with the Angel of God. I always thought it was an odd thing to do. Usually when an angel appeared in Old Testament, one fell down in awe or a meal was prepared or some other act of reverence. But not Jacob. No, he wrestled with the angel and would not let the angel go until he blessed him. There is really no explanation in the scripture that explains the wrestling match. It just kind of comes up in the story of Jacob. I am sure there is more to the story but I guess we will have to wait to hear it. But in the end Jacob is changed. He now becomes Israel.

So this idea of wrestling and blessing and change are found together. One is based on the other.

I know I have had my experience with wrestling, whether it was an idea or decision or season of uncertainty. But it was only when I fully "wrestled" it out did I receive the "blessing". So then why do so many shy away from uncertainty? Why is there not more "wrestling" among God's people? It seems as if we would rather have our spirituality feed to us by those who have already done the wrestling. But when we do the hard work ourselves it becomes who we are. It seeps into our very being, weaving its way into the fabric of our core.

There are so many things in scripture that are really hard to understand, either because of our limited human intelligence or because it is unnatural or because God has decided not to reveal the truth to us yet. And when we come across these difficulties, we have some choices. We can either turn the page so that we don't see it or we can stick it into one of the many assumptions that we already have. Or we can sit and chew on it awhile. I have this illustration about this, it is not pleasant and I wish I had another one, but here it is. It is kind of like a cow chewing her cud. She chews her food and then chews it some more, so that she can digest every part of it. (interestingly enough when I looked this up I found this statement, "Cud chewing can often be used as an indicator of the health of a dairy herd.")

This idea of wrestling takes time. It is something that takes effort and perseverance. But in the end we are changed by the blessing of God. In the passage, Jacob said, "I will not let you go until you bless me." Hang on and wrestle and be blessed!

Random Questions to Ponder

• Why do children only throw up between the hours of 3 am and 5 am?

• Why must children only hurl the day clean linens are put on their bed?

• Why don't children of the same family get sick at the same time instead of one right after the other, which makes for a very tired mommy for a longer period of time?

Just random questions I am thinking about today. Nothing spiritually deep and renewing. Just ponderings of a tired mommy.

New Book

I am currently reading this book. Mark Batterson is the same author that wrote "In a pit with a lion on a snowy day." Oh my goodness. It is a very good book. Robbie keeps telling me to hurry up and finish because I am constantly going to him and telling him, "Listen to this..." And then I read him a page. He hates to be read to. But I will blog more about it when I am finished. Meanwhile go get it for yourself!

It is along the same lines as his afore mentioned book. But different... It talks about the adventure of following the Holy Spirit! I am pumped. I really want to do this as a book study.

Control is an illusion

I spoke on the subject of control, briefly, last week. There were quite a few people who had a problem with the statement, "Control is an illusion." Now I have to admit quite a few years ago, I would have had the same reaction. But a few things have changed since then. One is I have learned that control is an illusion. Now, mind you, this is coming from a typical first-born, type A, minor ocd personality type. I have had my issues with control (and some may say I still do, but I can't control what they think!) I have learned this fact: I cannot control one thing in my life other than my reaction to it, and even that is sometimes tricky.

There is not one thing that I have absolute control over. As much as I would like to, I can not "control" my children. I can discipline them and instruct them in ways that are right, but I can not "make" them do what is right. When they are left alone they will make their own choices, and thus suffer the consequences, and I can't control that either.

I can not control whether or not a hurricane will devastate my town. I can prepare with the necessary supplies, but where that storm hits is not up to me.

I can not control my parents... I can not control the economy or the gas prices...I can not control the neighbor's dislike for children...I can not control our government leaders...I can not control church attendance... I can not control ________.

When you think about, how burdened would my life be if these things were possible. And yet we live as if these things were possible.

Forgetting that it is God who puts these things in order. It is God who takes care of his people and his creation. It is God who orders the heavens, as well as our government. It is God who has ultimate control, we are just privileged to be included in his plan.

The only thing that I can have any influence in is "Am I open to the Holy Spirit's leading?"

And so that is why I say Control is an illusion!

Wordless Wednesdays

And we think "our" economy is bad! This is a picture of Haiti during and after the hurricanes that devastated their country.

First Reactions

I wish my first reaction to a difficult situation was grace. Far too often it is not! Yesterday, during church, an issue arose that made me want to scream! (It was a personal situation and had nothing to do with anyone at church! So don't read this and think I am talking about you!) But instead of grace, I hid. Yes, literally, hid in my hiding space (not telling you where this is!) I hid so that I could regroup and allow grace to flow. Then I went into the bathroom, washed my hands, looked into the mirror and said, out loud, "Christie, Practice Grace!" and then I heard a toilet flush in a stall. I thought I was alone, but I wasn't! (I ran out before I saw who it was) Kind of embarrassing!

But back to my original thought. Why can't my first reaction be grace? Why do I need to go into the bathroom and give myself a pep talk? Why doesn't grace just happen? I know some will say, "You must first understand God's grace before it can flow through you." I do know and experience God's grace. He is so gracious to me in more ways than I even know! He overwhelms me with His grace. But my gut reaction is to spew, now mind you I don't do that but I want to!

So I guess I will continue to practice!

Entertain the Masses

There is a great quote in the movie "Gladiator". It is made by the bad Ceasar, Commodius. It goes something like this, "Entertain the masses and the state can do anything." (Although this is not an exact quote, it is close to it).

I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately. And unfortunately I think we may be close to there as a nation. It is this idea that if it "looks" good, then vote for it. This election is incredibly important and can not be based upon entertainment values. Think about who you are voting for. Research the different candidates and make an informed decision. Disclaimer: Watching the network news does not count. Find out more than what the entertainment networks want you to know. Know what the candidates value and stand for. Because, as another quote goes, if they don't stand for something they will fall for anything.

TV as idol.

I have long had this theory that the TV is an idol that we bow down to. I mentioned this on Wednesday and someone sent this to me. I love it! Thanks Devyn!

Warning: I am talking politics now!

OK! My tongue is bleeding because I am biting it too much!

A few weeks ago as I was scanning the bloggy world, I came across a few blogs talking about politics and specifically Sarah Palin. These were not political blogs but blogs by christian women. The meat of the posts were something like this:

"Great! Now I can't vote for McCain because he picked a woman as his running mate."

"Hasn't McCain read the bible where it says women should not 'rule' over men."

(And my personal favorite) "McCain is evil because he chose a woman." Yes, the author actually used the word evil.

Now here is where I will take a deep breath.

Are you kidding me?

Please everyone get out your bibles and turn to Judges 4. In this chapter you will find a very interesting thing. There was a woman (gasp) judging Israel (even bigger gasp). Her name was Deborah. Judges were appointed by God. She not only led Israel but she even led them into battle. And Israel won because another woman, Jael, drove a tent stake through the enemy's head (not sure exactly how this happened). It was because these two women stood up that Israel won the battle. And you will also note that under her leadership Israel became stronger.

God is unable to do what is wrong. He appointed Deborah to this leadership to lead Israel. If this was wrong he could not have done it. So why is McCain "evil" for choosing Palin as his running mate?

In my bible, it says that the same Holy Spirit that lives in man also lives in woman. We, who are christians, are united by His Holy Spirit. Galatians 3:27-28. Then why say she is not qualified because she is woman?

Please respond to this.

Teaching our Children

As many of you know, Robbie and I are foster parents. This is not something we ever thought we would be doing. It was a long process that we went into kicking and screaming, but it was led by God. We went into it wanting to adopt. But along the way we have helped families, that ultimately led to reunification and the healing of families. It is one of the toughest things that I have ever done personally. I have poured my life into these children and then they are taken away. Along with the heartache that I have felt, I have also had to hold my grieving children as they cried because of the loss, which only magnifies my heartache.

I have had many people say they could never do that, because of the "damage" it would cause their own children. I have listened to this and questioned myself many times on the negative impact this may have on our children as it relates to this mission.

Then I saw this on ESPN the other day on Rennie Curran. It is a small biography of his life. He talks about poverty in his family because of his parents responsibility to family members. But because of this struggle it has made him stronger. If this struggle has made him into a better person, then why are we so bent on protecting our children from everything?

And then I had this thought maybe our children (as in children as a whole) have it way too easy! Because I know in our house this "struggle" has been a wonderful learning opportunity. We talk about the fact that we really miss this child, but we pray for this child and give them to God asking God to bless and protect. We also have learned that helping people is incredibly hard and requires sacrifice. We also have learned that pain should never stop us from helping the next person. My children are not just learning this, they are living it! Because even through the loss they still understand the mission. Yes, they complain because of this or that inconvenience. But if I were to tell them that another child needs our help, they would say with all their heart, Let's go get 'em!

And so I go back to my question, why do we as a society feel the need to insulate our children from everything painful? Could it be that we as parents are afraid of our pain and do not understand how to deal with our own emotions? Now here is my disclaimer, I am in NO WAY advocating causing or inflicting pain on the innocent. I am not saying we should be seeking to find some agony to "teach" our children. What I am saying is that when pain is presented, use it to teach them about becoming a man/woman. Use it to teach them about the healing power of our sovereign God. Use it to make them into better humans. Use it to teach them that avoiding discomfort at the expense of another's torture is selfish.

And never let your children's "comfort" be an excuse in not doing good!

So much to say.

SO...MUCH...TO...SAY..IN...THE...POLITCAL ARENA...
MUST...BITE..MY...TONGUE...
DON'T...THINK..I...CAN...HOLD...IT...MUCH...LONGER

Football Season is upon us

SO now you know why my blogs are few and far between.

My boys are playing football this season. Thankfully, Trey and Shane are on the same team. So they have practice Tuesdays and Thursdays. Robbie is coaching Riley's team and they have practice on Mondays and Fridays. And of course we have church on Wednesday and Saturday nights. So that leaves us with Sunday nights, but of course Sunday's involve football as well.

And I keep thinking what is going to happen when the girls have dance or softball or whatever? Is it possible to squeeze another day in the week?

But I really love it! I love to see my boys come in from football all muddy and tired from playing! (I could do without the tracks of dirt left on my floor from their cleats!)

Growing Up

I am not sure how the conversation started. I think it started when I said to the boys something like this, "C'mon, babies, let's go!" In that tone of playfulness that a mom uses, not in a high pitched sweet way, just a c'mon let's go way. (Wish I could attach audio here.) To which one said, "Mom we are not babies!" To which I said,"I know you are not babies, but it does not matter how old you are, you will always be my baby." To which another said, "Mom, you don't want us to ever grow up, do you?" So then the conversation started.

I explained to them that being a parent was the most difficult thing. Because my job, as a parent, is for them to become strong, independent men, but when that happens they will go away... to a new house... with a wife ...and their own family...and they will not want me around anymore. But on the other hand, I would not want it any other way. I want them to take care of themselves. I want them to be independent. I want them to be self-sufficient! I want them to be strong! But I want them to be my babies forever! I want to be able to cradle them in my arms! But when they are all those manly things, I won't be able to protect them. I might not know where they are every second of the day or if they are safe! But I sure as heck don't want to raise wimps! So, you see my dilemma? OK, now I am starting to tear up just thinking about it!

And then I thought, "Wow, I am so glad our heavenly father does not kick us out of the nest!" We can still be His precious babies until we are 119 years old! WE are never to old to crawl up in His lap!

Miscellaneous

It has been incredibly hard to blog as of late! I have been incredibly busy with homeschooling. Not sure we are learning anything yet! What has been neat is the people at church who are always asking me, "How is it going?". Many people have been incredibly encouraging. Always telling me to keep going! That is so an answer to prayer!!!

Also, keeping me from the bloggy world is the political stuff going on. Yes I am a political enthusiast! I just love this time of year, between the conventions and the elections! But because I do not want to cause dissension, I can not voice my opinion on my candidate of choice. So, I can not blog about that!

There are so many thoughts that I want to say sometimes but can not find the right words to ....

And then there is so much I want to say, but because of the position we are in, it is not appropriate.

So that is the reason there have not been many posts!

Shaneisms

Shane, as I have mentioned in earlier posts, has quite a knack for words. For some reason the other day I had a saying for everything. One of the boys would say or do something and I would say,"There is a saying about that. It goes you can't teach an old dog new tricks or curiosity killed the cat or other such words of wisdom I have inherited. Finally right before bed Shane said there is a saying for everything. I know I'll make one up my self. So everyone, I introduce to you the first Shaneism:

"You can't walk your dog if it's dead."

I thought it was rather brilliant myself. But then again I am his mom!

Another post

Ok I know it may seem I am hijacking other people's posts, but this is a really good article about boys and rather timely considering our roof-walking event this past Sunday.

All of you mother's of boys, please read. And all of you mother's of girls, please read to understand.

Warrior or Wimp:How not to raise Mama's Boys

Today was one of those days when I questioned everything, especially homeschooling! But God, in his infinite wisdom, had already provided encouragement.

I found this post on a blog that helped me.

The Lost Children

Up on the rooftop, stomp, stomp, stomp...

I always knew this day would come. Here is how it all went down.

We came home from church this afternoon. Robbie was in the other room and I was in the kitchen getting lunch together, when I heard this noise. That's odd, I thought, it sounds like there is something on the roof. If you have ever been through a hurricane type storm, you know that after the storm has passed there are a lot of critters that get stirred up. So I naturally thought that it was some sort of critter that was trying to find his way back home. Albeit it sounded like a large critter, but in my drive to get the gang fed, I dismissed it. SO then I heard it again! This is the part where I raised my voice a little and said, "Robbie there is someone on our roof!" (to some this may have sounded like a scream, but I am sure it was not.) To which he replied, "No there's not!". To which I replied emphatically,"YES. THERE. IS." To placate the hallucinating wife, Robbie goes outside and guess what? There was someone on our roof. Not just any someone, but a boy someone, with the last name O'Brien. Yes my beautiful boy was on the roof. He had been thinking about this for awhile, as evidenced by the step stool on the trampoline. He was literally running on the rooftop, wind blowing in his hair, smile on his face! And what do you think was his plan for getting down? If you guessed jumping off the roof and onto the trampoline, you win! Robbie calmly explained to him the idea of angles and trajectory and if he hit the trampoline in the wrong spot he would go flying into our neighbors yard. To which my son replied, "Oh! I did not think about that!" (Thought to self, "DUH! Obviously!") With the help of dad, he finally made it down safely and all is well!

Part of me wanted to strangle him. But then another part of me wanted to tell him how proud I was of him, because he went on an adventure!

Treasures in Jars of Clay

My husband sent this picture to me saying that when he saw it he thought of me!

I thought this was a poetic picture of the ministry of a mom! We are broken vessels that carry inside smaller jars of clay that (hopefully) give living water to others!

Playing in the rain!

OK! My children have been stuck in the house for too long! So what does any good mom do? I sent them outside to jump on the trampoline in the tropical storm. Don't panic! This was earlier this evening, before dinner, when it was just raining a little bit sideways! It really is not as bad as they show on TV! They loved it! They came in very wet, but with memories.

And here is me letting Summer play in the rain! This was before dinner and it was a little windy. There was a little rain!

We are starting to feel the wind here a lot more and it looks like it may hit land right near us, if not on top of us! So we will be stuck in the house again tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, but at least we still have electricity (which means AC!). Please let us have electricity tomorrow!

Fay!

The first day of school was Monday for us and the public schools. Then they(meaning the County) canceled public school for Tuesday and Wednesday because of Fay. But I am still schooling my poor children! They think it is incredibly unfair!

We have actually been very fortunate, because we have had very little effect of the storm. It has rained, but even that has not been severe. We will see what she will do this afternoon, but so far so good!

First Day!

Well, we survived our first day of Homeschooling! I absolutely loved it! And my boys were very eager to get started, even the negative one! I had to juggle the girls, but they did pretty good too! I know that every day will not be like this, but I am glad today was!

Sweet boys!

I have been very sick for the past two days, in bed with a fever kind of sick! But during my times of semi-consciousness I realized I have beautiful boys. My boys really took care of me. One would come in every so often and check my temperature with the ear temp thingy. One made me chicken noodle soup. And the other would make sure I had something to drink whenever I needed it! I just love them! It is days like today that give me hope!

Into the great Unknown!

Well, I have finally done it! I have made the leap of faith and journeying into the great unknown. I have sent off the letter that will tell the School Board that I am homeschooling my boys! Yes, you read correctly! I will be homeschooling all three boys, with two little ones under foot. This is something I have been thinking about for a long time!

I have one child that is incredibly excited about this, one who is cautiously optimistic, and one that is royally ticked off. This should be fun! But seriously I am excited about this new step in our family journey. I have prayed about this for awhile! I am scared, but more of that excited kind of scared! You know the kind that makes you have butterflies, knowing it will be tough but at the same time worth it (I hope!).

I have had a wonderful woman give me a lot of curriculum and resources that are wonderful (her youngest child is about four years older than Trey). She has been a godsend, not only providing me with these things but encouraging me as well.

So, please say a prayer for me!

Conversations with my boys!

My boys were watching TV tonight and one of the characters let out a very loud burp and this is the conversation that followed:

R: Man, that was the biggest burp I have ever heard. Besides God!
Me: Does God burp?
T: Well, He can do anything!

End of conversation!

Everbody's Somebody's _________!

Everybody's Somebody's Weirdo!

I read this bumper sticker a while back and it has always stuck with me. More recently I have been thinking about it in a different way.

We (meaning Robbie and I) have a circle of friends, peers and acquaintance's. They have a wide range of opinions and ideas. Here is the idea. Among these people, we are viewed in many different ways. There are some who say we are way to conservative on our ideas and opinions. Then there are some who say we are way to liberal. What is funny to me is the fact that we are still the same person no matter what. We do not vary our ideas based on which company we are in.

So this is where the bumper sticker comes in.

Everybody's Somebody's Conservative or Everybody's Somebody's Liberal!

What I have to be reminded of is that someone's label does not define me. But rather God shapes me into the person He created me to be.

Transitions

I really don't like transitions. The thing is I don't mind change. In fact I kind of like change, but I like it on my own terms. But right now I feel like I am in a kind of spiritual transition. I am not sure how to explain it! I feel like I am growing out of my old shell and I feel incredibly vulnerable. I want to hide myself away until I can figure out what my new shell is going to look like.

I did some research about this process in the animal world. When hermit crabs molt, they bury themselves in the sand, because they are vulnerable to attacks from other hermit crabs. After reading this I was kind of relieved, because that is exactly what I want to do. And this is a natural process, to grow and develop a new shell. What I have noticed is that those around me don't understand this process so they are pressing in on me to "make sure I am OK". I am OK, just growing a new shell!

I wonder what it will look like! I hope it is pretty!

Riley's B-Day!

So today is Riley's Birthday! He is 7! Riley is an incredible child. He is my third born and I have always said there is something quite special about a third child. Maybe it is because I was a lot less nervous about the whole parenting thing and I really enjoyed him!

He is quite intense with everything he does! He is quite the adventurer! He used to be called Smiley Riley, because he had a smile on his face all the time (but please do not call him that now, he does not like it!) We have always said that he learned how to climb before he learned how to walk. He is also quite the ladies man. I was told that at camp all the girls liked him, but then I found out that the girls were 14!

I can't wait to see what God has in store for this child! Whatever it is I know that he will enjoy life!

Summer Time!

I love having girls around! For a long time, this was a testosterone saturated house. But now we have girls! And I love it! Not that I did not like the boy house, but now there is balance to the force!

Here is my girly story! While the boys were away at camp, the girls and I went to Stuff-Mart to get a few things, mainly to get out of the house. Since I did not have to rush back home, we meandered through the purse section. And if any of you know me well, you know I LOVE PURSES, bags, etc.! I am not sure why, I am sure I may have some kind of psychological dysfunction, but until there is a cure I will enjoy my abnormal attachments! So here we are in the purse section and there was this cute little purse for Summer. I took it off the shelf and showed it to her! And to my delight she did the following. She took it in her cute, chubby 19 month old hand and lifted it up to peer at the outside of the purse! Pondering the fabric and design. Then she brought it in close to inspect the inside, opening the mouth of the accessory, as if she had done this so many times. After the inside passed inspection, she slung it over her shoulder to make sure it felt right! After every thing seemed to be adequate, she smiled and pointed to another purse on the shelf! My heart lifted with joy at this momentous occasion! And everything seemed right with the world! My goodness that was so fun!


(Please notice sunglasses, necklaces and "shell" phone! And,no, I did not stage her, this is her usual attire. The only thing missing is the flip-flops. Because we don't wear shoes in Florida, dress up consists of flip-flops!)

Shane's Words!

Shane is quite the funny guy here at home. He often says things that are incredibly funny. The thing is you can't translate them to words. It is the inflection and sarcasm that drip from his tongue, not to mention the deadpan look on his face, that is incredibly funny. I can't imagine where he gets the sarcasm from!

So here are his latest words of wisdom. I hope this translates well.

"Are onomatopoeia's onomatopoeia's?"

Mull that around for awhile!

Home from Camp!

All of my boys came back from camp today! They are all incredibly tired, especially the big boy! Robbie said that they were wonderful at camp, "model campers". They received tons of praise from the faculty! But wouldn't you know it, as soon as they get home they are bickering with each other! I guess I should be glad that they saved there good behavior for others, but it sure would be nice if I could enjoy it to! I am glad to have them home, but it was nice with just the girls. Very quiet!

Another of my favorite things.

On our walk this evening Riley brought me a flower. This truly makes me happy.



How could this sight not bring pure joy to my life? And, my, how handsome!!

A few of my favorite things...

I saw a blog today and it gave me this idea for a post. It said share five things that make you happy. So here are my five things (in no particular order):

1. The belly giggle of Joleigh
2. Hearing my boys play and laugh together
   
3. The gentle sea breeze on my face at the beach
4. A fresh cleaned house!
5. Small, unexpected, words of encouragement
   

So now it is your turn. What are the things that make you happy?

I know, I know..It's been awhile!

You know when people say back up your computer, well you really should. My computer died a few weeks ago. How utterly lost without this transistorized tormentor!

Then, Robbie was gone for ten days. And I survived! Not only survived, but really enjoyed my children!

Then we went on a mini vacation! Very nice to get away! But how odd is it that we, who live literally a few feet from the beach, went to the other side of the state to do what, hang out at the beach! I know there is a post in there somewhere!

And of course wouldn't you know while there was no computer around I had the most amazing posts written in my head. They were utterly brilliant, if I don't say so myself! And of course, when confronted with my computer...I have nothing! So it goes!

Now it's Shane's turn!

Today is Shane's birthday! He hit the double digit mark, he is ten years old! Shane has always been such a special child. He is smart, (at times too smart for his own good!). He is also a great cuddler! And though many people don't see this side of him, he is incredibly sensitive. He is also very entrepreneurial. One day when he was about eight, he decided to make some money. So he set up shop in the kitchen, blocking the way, allowing no one to enter. If we wanted something to eat or drink, we had to pay him for it. I really need to write down some of his witty responses! He is a beautiful child!

What is also special about today is that he was baptized. He is the first of my children to be baptized. He really thought this out and came to me knowing what he needed to do and when. It was incredible to see him work this out with God!

My child! My teacher!

Here is conversation I had with my Trey:

This morning Trey woke up and came out of his room, still half asleep. "Mom, can I talk to you?" I thought something was wrong.

We went into my room and he said, "Mom, I need ten dollars?" The thing is he just had his birthday and he has $120 in cash or gift cards, so I was immediately perplexed.

"Why?", in that tone of voice reserved for mothers.

"Because I want to buy Shane a blue DS for his birthday tomorrow and all I have is $120. So I need more to buy it."

My precious child is willing to spend all of his birthday money on his brother! I talked to him about it and he said that is what he wants to do! End of discussion! So today I will take my oldest child to the store where he will willingly hand over all of his money for the present of his brother. Why? Because he loves him!

So today I say thank you to my son for teaching me a lesson in love and giving (can these two verbs be separated)!

Great Quote

"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground."

Great Quote

I just read this quote on Mark Batterson's (author of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day) blog.

"If you aren't willing to look foolish your foolish"

Mull that one around for awhile.

Another Political Scandal

I don't like to talk politics with anyone outside my family. And this post is not about politics but rather a comment on our modern culture. And politics is just another way to illustrate the absurdity.

I woke up this morning and there was a political scandal. AGAIN. Someone said something that offended someone. AGAIN. And then that person immediately apologized. AGAIN.

So here is what I have learned you can say anything you want and mock anyone and cause serious division, but it is all OK if you apologize the next day. How absurd is this?

The bible says that "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34, Luke 6:45). Explain that.

People Pleasers

Over the past few months, this problem has surfaced on numerous occasions. It seems as if we have became a people of looking to others for approval. I thought that this only applied to women but I have heard more and more men describe this same dilemma. At times this seems to paralyze people from doing what is right. What is ironic is that everyone is looking to please everyone else who is only pleased when everyone else is pleased. It seems like an endless circle of disappointment and futility.

Why do we look to others for approval?

Blogs of Note

Lately I have been stuck in a rut as it pertains to blogs. I only visit the same few blogs. So does anyone out there have a favorite blog thy visit? Please share.

Some Days...

Sunday was one of those days. You know the kind I mean. The kind where you swear your children have been replaced by an evil entity. And then I started taking everything away from them. And I actually told them that the only thing I was required by law to give them was food and shelter and they should be glad they are getting that. And this was all before we left for church. It was not a pretty scene..me included.

And then Monday came. And there was joy and peace and feelings of good tidings. We played in the pool and laughed and even cooked dinner together. What changed I am not sure. They were still the children I banished from all electronic media on Sunday and I was still the crazy irrational mom. And then I realized some days just suck but then some days are just awesome.

So here is the lesson I learned. On Sunday, when I was actually questioning this whole parenting thing, I could not see Monday. Isn't that life?

My Boy is 11!

It is hard to believe, my Trey is 11! They say that they grow up fast and Trey is no exception. It seems like yesterday that a we welcomed our firstborn child into our hearts and home. He is growing into such a strong young man and I am very proud to call him my son! Look how handsome he is!

And the truth shall set you free

I had a conversation today with a friend. We were kind of griping about this whole ministry stuff. And it occurred to me, do you really ever know someone? You see, for the most part, everyone puts on a good front in the presence of the pastor/wife/staff. So it is really hard to know what is the truth. I think I understand why people do this but it still bothers me. Like my mom always said, everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. Everyone has their struggles, some are just better at disguising them! But sooner or later the truth will come out. And I think it is only when we are honest with our struggles that we begin to find healing and restoration.

Confessions

For some reason I have been compelled to write this post but I have hesitated. There seems to be an idea of Pastors Wives. One I really don't relate to. But it really goes beyond the PW. It seems as if women everywhere want to put on this persona. It is this: "I have everything under control. I have it all together. Etc. Etc." Please feel free to fill in the blank with whatever mask you are wearing.

So here is my confession. (And as I write this my heart is actually beating a little faster.) I am a woman filled with insecurities. Kind of scary to put it out there, but it is true. These are the questions that fill my mind. Let's see if you can relate. "Did I ramble on about that conversation? Does she/he really like me or is she just tolerating me? Am I doing the right thing in regards to my child?" There are so many more but my insecurities are getting in the way!


But there is one thing that I am completely secure in. I know without a doubt that God loves ME. He is a God of love and also abundant in grace. I know he picks me up when I am in desperate need. I also know He hears my prayers, even this one. God fill in the gaps where I have messed up! And that is what gives me confidence, knowing that as long as I am seeking after him, He will work things out for the good of those who love him. So this is where my security lies, in His heart!

Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day! We had my Mom and Dad and Robbie's Mom and Dad over for lunch after church this afternoon, so that we could celebrate Mom's Day! (How nice is that, they came down here to us for their day!) And I could not help but think of how incredibly blessed we, meaning Robbie and I, are.

For one, both sets of our parents are still married. Which is an amazing thing!

But this post is about the incredibleness of my mother. Of course, I don't tell her all this stuff, because ... well, I am not sure why. But here is a little bit about my mom. My mom ALWAYS puts my needs before her own. She has always (and probably always will) encouraged me to be the best that I can be. She has never told me I was not able to do something (even though, I know she questions my sanity now and again!). There has never been a time in my life that she was not there. If I called her at 2 am right now she would drive that hour and a half trip. In fact, this past Saturday, I called her just to vent about how overwhelmed I was at that moment by everything that had to be done. And guess what, she was on my doorstep in two hours with her mop and bucket, whipping everyone into shape. My boys even nicknamed her the "witchy lady" for the day. (We'll discuss that later!) She has been my cheerleader, my encourager, my kick-butter, my shoulder to cry on, my babysitter, and on and on. She makes me crazy sometimes, but without her I would be crazy!

So, Mom, thank you! Words can not express the gratitude! I hope I can be the mom you raised me to be!

Blah, blah, blah!

I have been really struggling with what to blog here lately. There are so many things that I want to communicate. But the words just don't seem to flow.

Praying Earnestly!

In my devotional yesterday I was reminded of the story of Elijah.

The verse was from James 5:17: "Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly." This verse refers to the story in 1 Kings 18:41-46. In this story, Elijah prays, after a 3 1/2 year prayer induced drought, that it would rain. He told his servant to go out and look for the rain. Several times he asked his servant to do this and each time the servant came back and said there was nothing. Until the seventh time, he came back and said there is a small cloud rising from the sea. What I love about this is the perseverance of Elijah. If it was me I would have given up on the first report and wondered why God was not listening to me. But not Elijah and he was a man just like us. He prayed and prayed and continued to pray!

What is it that is keeping us from continually praying? What are we afraid of? Are we afraid of God looking stupid? Or are we afraid of us looking stupid?

Really, it is OK to read it!

I have had a few people tell me they are uncomfortable reading my blog. So this is my official permission allowing all of you to read my blog. Some say they think it is like reading my diary. Trust me, if I didn't want anyone to read it I would not post it!!

And trust me on this one as well. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the issues I struggle through. This is nothing compared to my "real" journaling! You might never look me in the eye again if you saw the "other" journal.

So go ahead and read and comment along the way!

The Road Not Taken

I have been thinking about this poem lately and had to post it!

67. The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

My Boy!

So Shane was incredibly frustrated this morning and very impatient! Yelling at Riley to get up or they were going to be late, etc. I was trying to calm him down, trying to teach him patience, etc. And here is the way the rest of the conversation went:

Me: Shane, God says that patience is a gift that he gives us if we ask for it.

Shane: I don't want patience. It just wastes time!

Me: (incredulous look on my face) UM! Well then!

And how do you respond to that?

Great Quote and Reminder

My husband had a great quote on his blog that I have to share.

"When God sends you on a journey, he packs your bags too!"

This is such a great reminder for me. When we go on a trip, I plan in my head how to pack things and what to take sometimes a few days before we leave. I am one that likes to have everything figured out and ready so I don't forget to pack anything. I do NOT like to be unprepared. If something unexpected is going to happen then I want to be ready.

But somehow God does not work like that. He provides for us ALONG the way. He sends people into our lives to fill in the gaps. I do not think God wants us to be self-sufficient. He designed us to depend on Him. And when we depend on Him we depend on His people. And then we have room to see God work.

Your Prayers...

I was never aware of how difficult the position as "Pastor's Wife" really was, until I became one. This road has been incredibly difficult in so many ways.

But yesterday morning I was reminded of how blessed I am. I had my first session of a new bible study Thursday morning. I usually like to allow a lot of time for prayer during this first session. During this time, these beautiful ladies offered up a prayer of blessing for me and my family. You will never know how much it means to me to have people out there that pray for me and my family. I could not survive without the heartfelt prayers of God's people. I truly understand what it means to desire the prayers of the saints. So if anyone ever wonders what to do for their pastor and family, pray. And then pray some more!

Thank you to all who pray for us and please keep praying!

It is cold here!

OK, everyone who is spouting ideas about global warming, please quit now! You are making it colder with every word you speak.

I had to turn on my little heater just to warm up this morning. I think it was 41. It is April 15th! It is Florida! It should not be anywhere near 41 at anytime of day in Florida in April!

This is my theory. God is getting tired of this farce of global warming, so he is allowing it to be colder to show everyone who really is in charge!

So please all of you global warming believers, stop! Because I like it warm in spring in Florida!

About last night...

Robbie has been doing a series on marriage and family. So for the past two Wednesday nights we have been teaching communication skills and resolving conflicts. Last night was about resolving conflicts. Robbie and I got up in front of everyone to illustrate how we have resolved a real conflict in our marriage. We were the test dummies. Of course this is something that has caused pain in our marriage and I am an emotional woman, so of course, I cried. I didn't blubber with snot coming out of my noise, but I did tear up and had to use tissues. I feel like I have to do a disclaimer here. I cry! It is part of my nature to cry! To me it is like laughing. It is part of who I am!

What was so comforting to me was the people who came up to me afterward, men and women, who thanked me for being so open. They were moved to see my pain displayed for all to see.

So after my post ranting about the negative comments from people, I thought I should say thank you to all the people who were gracious and grateful in their comments last night. It is people like you that help us continue in ministry!

Last Post

Robbie said that my last post sounded pissed. And yeah, I do get a little p'ed off about comments like that. I have been told to just let it run off my back. I am just unsure how to do that. Especially when it comes to my family, I tend to be incredibly territorial and protective.

Helping orphans and children is something I have been called to do. So if someone feels like criticizing that, then talk to God!

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe....

Well, it happened again the other day! Every time this happens I want to yell and scream. Someone made a comment along these lines, "That's just what you need, another baby." Not a question of how are you doing? or a comment about it being difficult. No, they interjected there ideas about my life that I did not solicit nor want. I just want to know who gave someone the right to negatively comment about the state of affairs in my household.

Look people, I only have five children. If I am not mistaken, it was only a few generations ago that five was considered average. My grandmother had 6 children and some she raised by herself after the death of her husband, and she lived until the ripe old age of 92.

I, of all people,understand the difficulties of balancing five children. Sometimes its hard. Sometimes it is fun. But it is always full of joy. Most things worth doing are difficult.

And guess what person, I probably won't stop at five. I am thinking that 15-20 has a nice ring to it! :)

Birth Rate

I heard a little blurb on the news about the birth rate in the Vatican. It says that Muslims now outnumber Catholics in the Vatican, primarily because of their birthrate. The report went on to say,

"Formenti said that while the number of Catholics as a proportion of the world's population was fairly stable, the percentage of Muslims was growing because of higher birth rates."

This is alarming to me on so many levels. First off, if nothing changes we, as in Christians, will be outnumbered in a few short generations. And I do not want my future generations to be ruled over by Muslims.

We need to realize that children are a gift from God. I think western culture has been negligent in supporting this idea. We see children as another mouth to feed, instead of another disciple of Christ. Another being to be raised in a home showing devotion to God.

God says blessed is the man whose quiver is full. (Psalm 127:4-5) Do we really believe that? I think if we did we would see a lot more Christians having larger families.

Frustration

Frustration has an interesting definition. Here are just a few:

1. a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs
2. a feeling of annoyance at being hindered or criticized
3. a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

So basically it comes down to this. I want something or I want to do something, but someone or something is standing in my way, so I become frustrated. Example, A parent wants to watch a TV show, but child keeps coming in and asking silly questions. So parent becomes frustrated. Parent then says, "Can't you see that I am watching this show?"

So now I have decided that frustration is basically a totally selfish emotion. The child only wants to connect with parent. But the parents unfulfilled need is to watch TV. Does this sound right? Whose needs are more important here?

Why do we allow frustration in our lives? It is a completely negative and self-centered emotion that, I think, does more harm than good. As Christians, aren't we called to consider others before ourselves? (See Phil 2.) What if we allowed a little grace to manifest instead of frustration?

Finding Purpose

I heard this quote again the other day and it was thought-provoking. It came from the movie "A Walk to Remember":

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose!"-Dolly Parton

What an interesting concept. Finding out who you are sounds simple, but can be incredibly difficult for some. Especially those of us who have been programmed since birth to please others. But what freedom there is in finding out the person God created you to be instead of what those around you want you to be. Because most of the time those around us don't even know who they were created to be.

And then doing it on PURPOSE!

Try it! Try asking God who HE created you to be!

No More Whining!

All of you who are mothers have uttered these words probably more times than you can count. I am not sure about anyone else, but whining completely drains me of all energy. It grates on my nerves and causes me to lose my patience quick! Especially when the whining is groundless and complaint ridden.

Unfortunately, my diatribe is not concerning the smaller of us, but is directed to the adults in this world. I have heard it said before that if you are complaining and not offering a solution, then you are just whining! Now don't get me wrong I understand some peoples need for constructive criticism (if that even exists!) but there are some that just want to point out all the flaws and complain that it's not right.

Here's a thought! Instead of complaining, how about we all jump in and do something about it. You know, see a need and meet a need! If you see something is not being done or you don't think it is being done right, do it yourself!

Just venting!

Borrowed words

Since I have been missing from the blogger world as of late, I thought I would post something. Unfortunately, my mind is so sleep deprived, I have nothing original to contribute.

I am reading this book that is incredibly intriguing. I can only read a few pages at a time because my mind starts going. The book is called "Seizing Your Divine Moment" by Erwin Raphael McManus. Here is a quote that I wanted to share:

"We have put so much emphasis on avoiding evil that we have become virtually blind to the endless opportunities for doing good. We have defined holiness through what we separate ourselves from rather than what we give ourselves to. I am convinced the great tragedy is not the sins that we commit,but the life we fail to live."

So my question to you all is, what have you given yourselves to?

Out of the mouths of boys...

My son has been very interested in Spanish lately. So he came to me and said,

"I know how you hiccup in Spanish."

"Really! How?"

"Hiccupo."

Interesting...

Obviously my train of thought was very interrupted by our new little one. I will try to pick up where I left off...

The comments on pain have been very interesting. I have been incredibly frustrated with my theories on pain, partly because no one wants to tread in the water in which I wade. And so I am left to play in the depths by myself, while everyone looks on in horror. I read a devotional the other day that really put things in perspective. It was about Caleb and the promised land. He went with eleven other spies to seek info. And when they came back, Caleb and Joshua were the only ones who gave a good report about God's Promised Land. And yet because of the unfaithfulness of the people, the Israelites had to wonder the dessert for forty more years. Can you imagine what Caleb was thinking for forty years,"If you had listened to me, we wouldn't be in the dessert!" I wonder if just for a moment he thought about sitting himself down in the sand and saying, "Nope! Not going to wonder around here! God said this was ours and I am staying right here!" Instead he had to suffer for the other people's unfaithfulness. That sucks!

But God did reward him. When all of his peers died in the wilderness, he was one of only a few who went into the promised land and received his inheritance.

I hope this makes sense, because I am still adjusting to limited sleep!

I know I haven't written...

But there has been a lot going on these past few weeks. As you may know, we got a phone call last Monday that DCF was bringing a baby to us. She was born on Feb 13, so she is a little one. We are not sure how long we will have her, we are just taking it one day at a time.

What is amazing to me is the comments people have made about our decision to take this child into our home. We feel honored to be able to care for this child.

Pain Again

Obviously I am working with a theme here. I had this idea about pain, again. What started me thinking about this was a documentary I saw about this woman who gave birth naturally, to twins, in her home, without pain meds and the second baby was breach! Needless to say, it was quite intense! But what she said was interesting. She said that she knew she did not have time to get to a hospital with the second baby and there was not a whole lot she could do, except she had to calm herself to keep her heart rate down so that the baby would not be in distress. She said she just went with the pain. Wow! This concept of embracing the pain is beautifully illustrated in labor. Women embrace the pain because they know the beauty that is theirs to hold at the end of their arduous ordeal. If the pain was ignored or prevented, there would be death to the mother and/or child. It is truly the most beautiful pain!

Pain & Joy

I have often thought that when one avoids pain, joy is avoided as well. Almost as if they were two sides of the same coin. How can you truly experience joy unless you have experienced pain? I don't see how the two can be divided.

When you do everything you can to numb yourself to pain, there is no other option than to numb yourself to the good things in life also. The problem is that numb-ers don't see what they are missing because they have lost sensation.

It is a paradox, joy equals pain and pain equals joy.

Comments

Why doesn't anyone post comments?

Struggle with Pain

I have always seen the world a little bit different than the average person. I struggle with this, because not many people can handle me (not sure if that is the right word or not). I see life as an experience not to be missed. Unfortunately, life includes the good as well as the bad. And here is where I differ with the average joe. I don't see pain (ie, conflict, struggle, doubt,whatever word you want to put on it) as a bad thing to be avoided. I see it as something to be embraced. Not to run toward. But when it comes my way, to gently embrace it. I see pain as a soft mist that must pass through me. And when it does it creates something in me that is beautiful.

So often our culture does everything we can to avoid any semblance of pain. I became completely aware of this when I had my first miscarriage two years ago. At my two week check up, I was a little tearful. Two people close to me had just had their babies and I was reminded of my empty womb at the doctors office. The doctor said "Here are some drugs, because I don't like to see my patients cry." This comment by the doctor struck me as odd. Why shouldn't I cry over the loss of my child? I wanted to experience this loss, because I new God was in the mist with me. And on the other side was something I needed. At this point I can say the pain was beautiful because I learned another thing about God, as well as myself (not to mention all the beautiful friends that surrounded me!)

The struggle I have is that there are not many people who understand this view of conflict. And so I am left to look like a raging pit bull at the sight of blood. I don't want to say I love conflict, because that sounds a little odd.

When iron sharpens iron, there will be sparks, but the iron will be better in the end.

How bad is that?

This is an actual comment from my child's mouth.

"Man, Chef Boyardee is a master chef!"

How sad is that?

Not Mine, but I had to share.

You know you are Floridian if...

• ..Socks are only for bowling.
• ..You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
• ..A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
• ..Your winter coat is made of denim.
• ..You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
• ..You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
• ..Anything under 70 is chilly.
• ..You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
• ..You could swim before you could read.
• ..You have to drive north to get to The South.
• ..You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
• ..Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
• ..You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
• ..You dread love bug season.
• ..You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley , Frances , Ivan and Jeanne.
• ..You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
• ..You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
• ..You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.
• ..'Down South' means Key West
• ..You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York .
• ..Flip-flops are everyday wear.
• ..Shoes are for business meetings and church...but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before
• ..Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
• ..An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
• ..You smirk when a game show's 'Grand Prize' is a trip or cruise to Florida
• ..You measure distance in minutes.
• ..You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
• ..You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
• ..A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
• ..You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
• ..You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season ,and summer
• ..It's not soda, cola, or pop. it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, 'What kinda coke you want?'
• ..Anything under 95 is just warm.
• ..You've hosted a hurricane party.
• ..You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. ( Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)
• ..You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
• ..You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Ichnatucknee and Withlacoochee
• ..You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
• ..Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.
• ..You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.
• ..You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
• ..You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
• ..You recognize Miami-Dade as ' Northern Cuba '

Too Serious

Man I have been way too serious lately. I am way in my head these past few weeks. Hopefully I can find some new material to lighten this up a bit.

Blessings

I have been intrigued by this idea of God's blessing lately. I started this year reading "The Prayer of Jabez". But something new caught my eye as I read again. In the verse it says "Bless me indeed". The word indeed in this verse is the same word for the word bless (barak in Hebrew). So Jabez is asking God to bless him twice. He is in essence begging God to bless him. What an interesting thought.

I don't think our current church culture understands this idea of being blessed by God. We tend to minimized it by associating blessing with being meek or weak in spirit or any of the Beattitudes. (Which, if you are interested, do a New Testament word study on the word blessed. You may surprised at what you find! I know I was!) Or we tend to associate it with greed and material blessings. Are we really that small minded or do we think God is? When in fact blessings are something God asks us to ask him. It is not a negative thing. It is a GOOD thing!

And here I go asking that same question again. Why are we limiting God in our lives? He is saying, 'Here take this good thing (whatever it may be) and do good with it.' The catch is, God is the ultimate gentleman, he won't force anything on us. We must ask him, and maybe even beg him. And then ask him to open your eyes to the blessings around you.

God Of Abundance

Last night I was reminded of a trait of God. He is a God of abundance. I am reminded of this through the story of Jesus feeding the 5000. After feeding these people with only some fish and bread, there were twelve baskets leftover. God knew how much food would feed these people. Yet he chose to have leftovers. This little tidbit of information is put into scripture to illustrate God's complete and abundant provision.

This is a comfort to me. There are times in my life that I forget how big God really is. I put him in my version of reality, instead of allowing him to feed the masses with a small lunch. He is able to do so much more than I can even imagine! Yet I hold on to my life protecting it and guarding it, and from what? The God of abundance?

Small Confessions

Not many people know this little tidbit about me. I love to organize! I don't usually tell people this little obsession because they look at me as if I had two heads. And these past few weeks have been absolutely fabulous in the world of organizing. I have cleaned out closets and thrown out stuff and given stuff away and filed papers. I feel absolutely liberated! Just wanted to share my victories with you all!

Big Butts...

When I originally started this blog, I thought it would be rather serious. But my children just give me to much fodder to write about. Here is one piece of tidbit that I must share. A teacher at school had to tell me this.

My oldest son Trey, 10, was in an art class and they were drawing black widows. The teacher was explaining the difference about the male and female, the hourglass, etc. My son drew a picture of the spider. She asked him if it was a male or female. He said female. She said how can you tell? He said, "Because it has a big butt. And females have big butts." I thought it was very funny, because most of the females in his familly have big butts, so it is only natural to assume that you are not a woman unless you have a big butt. I am simultaneously pleased and not so pleased with this. I am happy because he has not bought into our cultures view of perfection. I am not so pleased because, frankly, I am a "female in his family".

My Motto for the Year!

I have decided on a theme for this year. After a look back at last year, I realized I did a lot of crying for various reasons. So this year I want it to be different. My motto for this year is "No whining. Lots more laughing." (see Phil.2:14).